Although the church in Corinth was immature and foolishly sinful at times – Paul loved them. He was an apostle, evangelist and teacher, but he had a pastor's heart. He did not just found the church (Acts 18:1-4), visit them and send them letters to teach them how to follow Jesus: he loved them deeply. He was willing to stand with them even if persecution got so bad that their lives were threatened. Paul would have died with them (1 Thessalonians 2:8). He wanted real relationship to flow, between them and God, between each other, and between them and him.
His appeal for them to open their hearts to him, was stirred by the same love that parents have for their children who may be rebellious. It matters that they learn to behave rightly, but parents long for more - a bond of mutual open communication which enables the growth of real relationship. The church had been set against Paul by high minded 'super-apostles' and their followers (2 Corinthians 12:11). Although such slander was not warranted, it undermined the church's relationship with Paul who had not wronged them in any way (2 Corinthians 1:12-14).
Like a parent, Paul separated his hatred of their sin from his intense love for them. Although he had to rebuke their errors, he was proud of them and greatly encouraged by the progress they had made. This was godly 'parenting'. No naughty child can have the confidence to learn good ways without the security of knowing that they are loved. That was Jesus’ pattern with His disciples too (John 15:15-17). Love must start somewhere. Paul was not demanding that the church should love him first: he loved them first and then looked for their love to show that his love had been received. That is the way God works in love (Romans 5:8), in His ministry of reconciliation (2 Corinthians 5:18-20).
Parents and pastors should share the same dilemma. They are irresponsible if they do not discipline, but they are also irresponsible if they do not love sacrificially despite much provocation. It is necessary not only to show people that they are loved, but to tell them as well, and to give the opportunity for them to express their love in return. That is the basis of real relationships. It matters because heaven is not filled will people who work hard to keep the rules, but by people who love God because of His love for them (1 John 4:10) and therefore turn from their sins. Rebellious people present the greatest challenges: love them, tell them that you love them, and encourage them to respond in love. Love covers a multitude of sins (1 Peter 4:8).
